The Pain of Reality
by DreamlessDirt
Summary: It's torture. They're both just at arm's reach. But the real distance between us was far greater... Neville recalls some of his memories of his parents. One-shot.


The Pain of Reality

It gets easier. Or so everyone always says about the pain. But they're wrong. It doesn't get easier. It wasn't easy the first time...

_"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY NEVILLE?! TELL ME! WHERE IS HE?" _

_"Mum, it's me..." I held back my tears. Or rather, I tried to. _

_"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" The woman in front of me was my mother. At least, it looked like her. Her face unmistakably belonged to my mother. But her features were distorted. Her tender smile and gentle eyes were gone. In its place a twisted mouth and lost, wandering eyes._

_"WHERE IS HE?!" The comforting voice she used to reassure me of nightmares was gone too. She was screaming at me. She has never screamed at me before..._

_On the bed next to my Mother's, was my Dad. He covered his ears with his hands. I have always looked up to him. He was always so brave and strong. Yet there he was. Like a child scared of thunder. _

_I closed my eyes. Maybe it was all just a dream..._

_The woman who used to be my Mum grabbed me by the shoulders. "TELL ME WHERE HE IS! I NEED TO KNOW HE'S SAFE." She was crying. So was I. _

_This was no dream. This was reality. _

... And it sure as hell isn't any easier now.

_"Hey Mum! I got the second highest score in the Herbology finals in our year. Of course, Hermione Granger got the highest. I'm sure I've told you about her. She's the best student in our year." I was smiling. But she wasn't listening. She was busy tracing the lines on her palm. _

_I reached out my arm to try to get her attention. As soon as I touched her shoulder, she withdrew. She edged to the side of her bed. Her eyes wide. Afraid. Confused. _

_"Who are you?" _

_"It's me, Mum. It's Neville." I forced another smile. Tears were burning the back of my eyes. But I blinked them away as I usually did._

_She tilted her head to the side as a curious puppy would. She clapped her hands and started laughing. It was a hysterical kind of laughter. And it scared me... She laughed harder. _

_"You have the same name as my baby." She grabbed an old stuffed doll from under her pillow. "See?" She waved the doll in front of my face and giggled. "But of course, he's much more handsome than you. He takes after his father." She looked at the person on the adjacent bed. Dad was asleep. He usually was. I turned back to my mother. She clutched "Neville" to her chest. She started humming a tune that I knew so well. It was the same one she sang to me when I couldn't sleep. _

_I was crying. I hadn't even noticed. But Mum did. She reached into her pocket and stretched out her hand to me. I knew what it was already. She gave me a wrapper of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. She always did when I cried. I'd always stop when she did. I smiled at her. She smiled back at me. For a tiny fraction of a second, I could've sworn I saw something in her eyes. A flash of recognition, perhaps? I laughed. She laughed too. It wasn't the hysterical laughter she had earlier. It sounded almost real. But suddenly she stopped and frowned._

_"Who are you?" _

_And just like that. It was reality again. They were both just at arm's reach. But the real distance between us was far greater. _

No matter how bad, we eventually get used to it. After all, there's not much else we can do but accept it. But it doesn't get easier. Time can only give the illusion of ease. In truth we just get better at dealing with the situation. We learn how to go through the motions in the most painless way possible.

I took a cautious step back from the edge of the roof of St. Mungo's. I ripped up a note I had written earlier and threw it in the air. I watched as the wind blew away the tiny scraps of parchment into different directions.

Maybe not today...

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**I hope you enjoyed reading! I haven't updated in a year XD This is my second fanfic ever. Soooo... review? :D Pleeaassee? **

**I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters or whatever. If I did I would be really rich and I wouldn't be writing fanfics.**


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